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Dec. 6th, 2004 @ 12:20 am BLACKING OUT
Current Mood: indescribable
Current Music: OAR
HEY WHO EVER READS MY LIFE.

IT HAS BEEN FOR FUCKEN EVER SINCE I LAST WROTE IN THIS. LET ME THINK WHAT HAS HAPPENED... UMM PAUL STAYED HERE FOR A WHILE, STARTED DATING GREG, STILL SMOKING, ATE A HALF 8TH OF SHROOMS WITH MIKE, BROKEDOWN IN FRONT OF MY BANDMATES, STARTED TO RECORD OUR CD, I DIDN'T LIKE THE FACT I COULD HEAR MYSELF AND MY BANDMATES WEREN'T JAMMIN WITH ME, SO PUT THE HEADPHONES DOWN AND BASICALLY CALLED IT "DONE", FRANSISCO AND I ARE FRIENDS ALL OVER AGAIN.... SO TODAY LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT FUCT UP TODAY.. GO TO JOE'S RIGHT. AND WE ARE STRAIGHT UP CHILLIN, SO WE SMOKE A BLUNT SOME BONGS AND 2 BOWLS OF MUSHROOMS, SO THEN I GO TO THE BATHROOM AND I BEND OVER BACKWORDS, BECAUSE USUALLY I GET A 5 TO 30 SECOND TRIP OF THAT. SO I DID SO, AND AS I WAS BENT OVER BACKWORDS I SAW THE BATHROOM DOOR START SHAKING, SO I STARTED TO RISE BACK UP AND ALL OF A SUDDEN A HIGH PITCHED SOUND OVER CAME MY HEARING, EVERYTHING GOES COMPLETELY DARK AND I REMEMBER GRABBIN ONTO THE SINK WITH ONE HAND AND THE TOLIET TOP WITH THE OTHER HAND, I STARTED TO SHAKE UNCONTROLLABLY, ALL I COULD THINK WAS SONIA WAKE UP, SNAP OUTTA IT, FINALLY I STARTED TO SEE SLIGHTLY AND I HEARD PINK FLOYD, I IMMEDIATLY WAS FREAKING OUT. SO I RAN OUT FROM THE BATHROOM AND FREAKED OUT SOMEWHAT INFRONT OF TYLER, FRANSISCO, MIKE, MIKE, ANDY, BRETT... I AM STILL TRAUMATIZED. OKAY I'M DONE WITH THIS.

OH YEA, I FINALLY GOT HIGH-SPEED-INTERNET.. WOOT WOOT.

I'M DONE WITH TRIPPING (HALLOUCINATING)
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Nov. 4th, 2004 @ 12:04 pm BUSH BUSH light BUSH BUSH light
Current Mood: annoyed
Current Music: ANTI-FLAG
"PETER WOULD YOU LIKE SOMETHING TO DRINK?"

"WHY YES, DO YOU HAVE ANY BEER?"

"BUSH, OH AND BUSH LIGHT."

HAHA, AH SO BUSH WON, WHAT A FUCK... I HAD TO VOTE, MY PARENTS MADE ME, IT'S OKAY THOUGH, I GOT SOO BLAZED THAT I WOULD HAVE TO THINK ON WHO TO VOTE. WELL, WE WENT THERE AND I STARRED AT THE DAMN SHEET FOR ATLEAST 15 MINUTES... WELL I COULDN'T VOTE FOR NO COCK SUCKERS, SO I STUCK TO BEING A LIBERAL, I'M GLAD MY VOTE MADE A DIFFERENCE, I SAW IT, LIBERALS GOT LIKE 1%, GO US! WELL THAT'S THAT.

and seriously, now that he's still in office, he better do a damn good job, or i swear i'll turn this car around.
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Nov. 4th, 2004 @ 11:39 am THE 4th ALREADY
Current Mood: rushed
Current Music: NINE INCH NAILS
AH, NOVEMBER... HERE WE ARE. I'VE BEEN AWAITING FOR YOU AND YOUR HOODIE WEATHER. WELL LET ME TELL YOU.. THE PAST FEW DAYS HAVE BEEN A LITTLE, LOTTA, DIFFERENT. SEE PAUL IS STILL KICKED OUT FROM HIS "HOME" AND WELL HE'S BEEN STAYING WITH ME, THROUGHOUT THE MORNING AND PARTIAL NIGHT, I WISH I COULD HELP HIM, BY LETTING HIM SLEEP HERE. BUT I GOT PARENTS. ARG.. ANYWAYS, I'LL BEGIN WITH THE 1ST, THE 1ST WAS MONDAY, AND WELL, GREG COULDN'T STAY AFTER CLASS, BUT ES ALL GOOD, HE LEFT ME A NOTE. "SOOOOO HIGHSCHOOOL" TEE-HEE-HEE..MONDAY, I SAT AROUND WITH PAUL THEN JARED CAME OVER AND WE ALL WENT TO EAT. THEN CAME TUESDAY, TUESDAY GREG CAME OVER AFTER WORK, PAUL WAS HERE SO WAS RYAN AND MY BRO. WE SMOKED SOME OF THE MOST DELICIOUS STUFF EVER. MAN I'VE HAVEN'T BEEN SO OUTTA IT BLAZED SINCE I HAD LIKE A 3 HOUR SESSION WITH THE BIGGEST PIECES EVER...BUT IT SERIOUSLY TOOK ME ONE HIT TO BE DONE. BUT ME DONE, NAH. SO LATER ON. PAUL TELLS ME THAT JARED THINKS WE MEAN SOMETHING, OH GOD. NO! TUESDAY TURNED OUT TO BE NICE, THEN CAME WEDNESDAY... WELL I WENT TO CLASS AND GREG WAS THERE LIKE HE SAID HE WOULD BE. BY THE WAY ADAM DROVE ME TO CLASS, WE TYPED UP SOME PAPERS THEN WENT HOME. WELL GREG AND I CAME HOME, WE PLAYED SOME POOL, HEARD SOME POSTAL SERVICE AND ATE FOOD. OH OH OH, WE SAW HALF BAKED, AFTER BLAZING... WHOOT WHOOT.. THEN JARED CALLS TO TELL ME HE WAS GONNA COME AND GET ME AND I WAS LIKE WHAT NIGGA, IT'S TO EARLY TO GO TO BAND PRACTICE, WELL HE CAME AN HOUR LATER AND GREG WAS ABLE TO TAG ALONG, IT WAS NICE. THOUGH HE DID MAKE ME A BIT NERVOUS. AH WELL. I THINK I SUCKED YESTERDAY ANYWAY. DAVE AND CHRIS WERE NICE AND JARED, WELL HE WAS JUST BEING AN ASS, PROB CUZ I DON'T LIKE HIM, OH GOD. NO! HEHE, AH. WELL WE WORKED ON THE NEW ONE, AKA "THE BEAUTY WITHIN" I THINK I AM GONNA HAVE TO REARRANGE SOME LYRICS, SO I CAN ACTUALLY HOLD MY GROWL... SADLY I'M STILL A LITTLE CLOGGED UP, SO THAT'S FUCKING WITH ME, FUCKING WITH ME YOU FUCKING FUCKER, FUCK YOU. AH. THERE WAS NO POINT TO THAT FRAGMENT. SO AFTER PRACTICE, GREG AND I GO OUT TO DENNY'S, ONCE AGAIN HE PAYS, HE'S A TRUE LOVE. BUT I GOT SICK, I DUNNO, MY STOMACH WANTED TO POP OUTTA ME AND EAT EVERYONE INSIGHT, IT WAS TERRORFYING. SO HE BROUGHT ME HOME AND SAID I SHOULD LAY DOWN, THAT I DID. I ACTUALLY WENT TO BED LIKE AT 12... CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT. SO EARLY, I EVEN WOKE UP AT 10:30.. YEAA MY CLOCK IS STILL IN THE PAST HOURS, I REFUSE TO CHANGE IT. I MEAN I WAS JUST GETTING ADJUSTED TO THOSE HOURS AND THEN, THEY GO AND CHANGE THINGS ON ME, PSH..! WELL I JUST READ THE SADDEST LETTER FROM PAUL, IT ALMOST MADE ME WANT TO CRY. I HOPE HE IS DOIN OKAY. I'M PROB GONNA GET OFFLINE SOON, JUST INCASE HE CALLS, DON'T WANNA MISS THAT. WELL MIKE SAID HE WOULD CALL TODAY... YOU THINK HE IS ACTUALLY GONNA REMEMBER. I DON'T.. I THINK HE'S TOO CAUGHT UP IN HIS DRUG ADDICTION RIGHT NOW, THAT PIECE OF SHIT, AND FUCKING COKE. I HATE THAT. SICK SIC SICK (666)... THAT WAS NOT A SUBLIMITLE MESSAGE, I SWEAR. NOT! OKAY, SO IT'S THURSDAY.. WHAT AM I GONNA DO TODAY, I DON'T KNOW... MOST LIKELY WORK ON SOME LYRICS AND SCREAMING AND WHAT NOT. SATURDAY IS OUR BIG DAY. AND I SURE AS HELL HOPE I DON'T GET FRIGHTNEND......STAY COOL AND CLAM, ALRITY KITTY KAT. IT SUCKS HAVING NO SUPPORT AT ANYTHING THAT YOU DO. I SERISOULY NEED TO EITHER FIND A B/F WHO WILL SUPPORT ME AT SHIT OR KEEP ON DOING WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING, STAYING TUFF. I'M A BABY, BUT I'M TUFF. NOT AS TUFF AS PAUL THOUGH. THAT KID HAS SOMETHING HUGE COMING FOR HIM, I KNOW IT. AND IT'S GONNA BE FUCKING GOOD. AND I'L HELP HIM ALL THE WAY THROUGH, I REFUSE TO LET SOMEONE GOOD GO TO WASTE. YOU HEAR THAT PAUL, YER NOT GONNA GO TO WASTE! DAMN THE MAN, RIGHTEOUS!

CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG
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Oct. 31st, 2004 @ 11:32 pm RAMEN NOODLES & HALLOWEEN
Current Mood: shocked
Current Music: THIRTEEN HOURS (yea i rock out to my band, so what)
HEY FUCKER, HOW'S IT GOIN?! SO YESTERDAY WAS AN EVENTFUL DAY. LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT IT. I GOT TO WORK FROM LIKE 11:30 AM TILL 4 SOMETHING, IT WAS MY LAST DAY. SINCE WE SHUT THE PLACE DOWN. AWE. WELL AT WORK I DECIDED WE SHOULD HAVE A CONFESSION ROOM AND IN THAT ROOM AJ HAD HIS CAMERA SO WE ALL CONFESSED OUR SHIT ON TAPE. I JUST SMOKED A BONG. HAHA. BUT OTHER THAN THAT I DANCED TOO. BUT WORK WAS WORK AND IT WAS COOL. I'LL MISS THE BITCHES. BUT I COME HOME, GET READY. GO TO PRACTICE. THEY RECORD AND BETTER RECORDING. SO I CAN WRITE TO IT. UMMM.. SOO ALL IN ALL IT WAS GOOD. THEN MATT COMES IN AND LETS US KNOW THAT "NEW BLOOD" WAS LOOKING FOR A TOURING AND RECORDING DRUMMER SO JARED WAS ASKED TO TRY OUT. HOW BAD ASS IS THAT?!?!?!? BUT AFTER PRACTICE, JARED AND I WENT OUT TO DENNY'S GOT SOME GRUBB AND TALKED. SAW JIMMY AND MEGAN, WE SPOKE. A LOTTA PEOPLE HAD NUTTY OUTFITS. LIKE MARTHA STWEWART IN JAIL AND VANILLA ICE. AH YEA. GOOD STUFF. BUT JARED ALSO BOUGHT ME A SWEET ASS KNIFE DEALY AND GAVE ME HIS OLD BOWL, MAN I LOVE THAT THING. SO YEA THE NIGHT ENDED AROUND 4 AM. SO TODAY COMES ALONG AND WHEN I WAKE UP, WELL I HAPPEN TO FEEL IT IS REALLY LATE. BUT IT WAS ONLY NOON, I FERGOT WE SPRING BACK AND FALL AHEAD. HOURS CHANGE. HALLOWEEN WAS COOL. I HUNG OUT WITH MIKE AND JEFF FOR A WHILE. THEN BRITTANY HER STEP BRO AND LITTLE BRO AND SIS WENT TRICK-TREATING.. WELL WE JUST WALKED THEM. THEN WE PICKED UP PAUL AFTER DROPPING OFF THE KIDS. SO WE WENT TO JACOBS AND SAT THERE, WITH THE OTHER KIDS. AND SMOKED AND WENT TO JEWEL AND SHOPPED. WATCHED MOVIES AND CHILLED. IT WAS A GOOD TIME. WELL SOMETIME DURING THE NIGHT JARED CALLS TO LET ME KNOW THAT HE SPOKE WITH THE PEOPLE WHO ARE GONNA MANAGE NEW BLOOD, AND WELL IT HAPPENS THAT THEY ARE GOING TO COME TO OUR PRACTICE ON SATURDAY.. AND IF THEY ENJOY JARED AND US.......HE GOES TO CANADA IN JAN. AND RECORDS WITH THEM. THEN GET'S A NEW KIT AND IT HAPPENS TO BE THAT WE GET SIGNED AND GO ON TOUR IN MARCH TO EUROPE... ATTACK RECORDS HERE WE COME. BUT HOT DAMN SHIT AM I EXCITED. I CAN'T FUCKEN BELIEVE IT. SO I HOPE ALL GOES WELL ON SAT, I MEAN SATURDAY MIGHT BE A NEW DAY TO A NEW LIFE. I'M READY. I HOPE IT HAPPENS. I AM GONNA GIVE IT MY ALL. HELL I STILL GOTTA WRITE LYRICS. BUT I'M READY, I'M READY. MAN, WISH ME LUCK. STAND BY ME. WELL THAT'S MY HALLOWEEN, MY FAVE DAY OF THE YEAR. TOMORROW I HAVE CLASS AND GREG IS GONNA BE THERE AND IF I'M LUCKY ENUFF MAYBE I'LL GET THE GUY TOO. I MEAN I GOT THE BAND, HOPEFULLY GET THE RECORD DEAL AND THE GUY, OWE OWE OWE OWE OWE OWE OWE!!!!!! I'M PUMPED. AND I WON'T CRY. ALL WILL TURN OUT FOR THE BEST. YOU KNOW JUST EXPRESSING MYSELF IS BEAUTIFUL BUT TO GET PAID FOR IT. ... HELL I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. I CAN'T EVEN REACT. WHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! OKAY I AM GONNA GO BACK TO LISTENING TO OUR JAMS AND WRITE SOME STUFF DOWN. TILL THEN.. MY FUTURE AWAITS..


METAL FOR LIFE
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Oct. 30th, 2004 @ 03:02 am NO ONE IS EVEN READIN THIS.
Current Mood: stressed
Current Music: U2 (it's stuck in my head)
SO, IT'S 3 AM AND THE RAIN HAS SEEMED TO CALMED DOWN. I'M JUST CHILLIN. TODAY WAS AN INTERESTING DAY. WAKE UP AT 2 IN THE AFTERNOON, GET READY, GO TO WORK. HAPPEN TO FIND OUT THAT OUR LAST DAY IS SUNDAY. HELL-O-WEEN. AND AFTER THAT IT'S CLOSED. IT WAS A GOOD RUN I MUST ADD. BUT OTHER THAN THAT, JARED WENT TO MY WORK SAT AROUND, TRIED TO MAKE ME FEEL BAD, AS IN... HE SAYS WE WERE SUPPOSED TO CHILL TODAY. AND I HAD KELLY MATT MAX AND PAUL ALL COMING OVER. BUT HE ENDED UP GOIN TO THE BAR. SO YAY! HE SAYS HE GOTS ME TWO GIFTS. AND CHRIS GAVE ME OUR RECORDING, SO I CAN LEARN THE STUFF, I STILL GOTTA PUT IT IN. I GOT PRACTICE TOMORROW. MORE RECORDING! WHOOPIE! GREG IS STILL ON MY MIND, I HOPE I'M NOT BUILDING MYSELF UP FOR SADDNESS. DAMN IT. MIKE IS A WEIRDO. THAT JUST DESCRIBES HIM. MY WRIST IS ASLEEP. MORE LIKE HEAVY. I'M HOTT. I WANNA GO LAY DOWN. I'M DONE HERE.

..AND HERE I WAIT FOR YOU..

oh yea, i am gonna become a hairstylist. me and matt. score!

(that means i get a car)!!!!
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Oct. 28th, 2004 @ 12:07 am THIRTEEN HOURS
Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: GODFORBID
HEY DUDES. SO I WENT TO BAND PRACTICE TODAY. LUCKLY I DIDN'T HAVE TO ROCK OUT. I'VE BEEN KINDA SICK. SO MY VOICE WOULD ONLY BE FUCT UP. BUT WE DID RECORD. SO I CAN START WRITTING SOME LYRICS. I GUESS WE ARE GOIN TO THE STUDIO SOMETIME SOON. EEP!! BUTTTTTTTTTT... WE PRACTICE AT THIS STUDIO PLACE. AND TODAY I MET THE DRUMMER TO VITAL REMAINS, *DEATH METAL DAVE*.. APPARENTLY THEY PRACTICE NEXT TO US. SO THAT'S JUST BAD ASS. I DUNNO I'M REALLY EXICITED ABOUT THIS BAND. I HOPE ALL GOES WELL. SO FAR SO GOOD. BUT CLASS ON THE OTHER HAND WAS NEAT TOO. I FINISHED ALL MY PHOTO PRINTING SO I STOOD AROUND FOR AN HOUR SCREWING WITH THE PICTURES AND MAKING NEW SCHTUFF. GOOD GOOD GOOD. MY LOVELY DRUMMER JARED ENJOYS SMELLING ME. HE'S A BLAST. CRAZY, BUT A BLAST. I GUESS THE EXICITING GREG GOES ON TOUR WITH YELLOWCARD TOMORROW.. THRU SAT OR FRI. CAN'T QUITE REMEMBER. ANYWAYS. THAT'S THAT. BUT MY DAD SAYS I AM MAKING TOO MUCH NOISE SO I AM GONNA GO NOW.

PEACE
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Oct. 26th, 2004 @ 10:32 pm AUGUST and NOW.
Current Mood: indescribable
Current Music: PINK FLOYD
Awe man, it has been so damn long since I wrote in this thing, that always happens. I get a dead journal, in this case a Live journal and I write like 3 entries and then I give up. That’s that. So… well. I can begin by saying back in august when I went to Mexico it was fun. Saw mountains. Got pictures, hung with the life friend. Smoked up with my brother in Texas watching bats fly through the star filled sky. We also smoked at like every rest area, man that made the trip so much easier. Back in Mexico, I saw a lotta family, got sick. And you know it’s been 3 months and I’m still not feeling much better. Sucks or what. On the other hand, the churches were amazing the food was sweet the view was even better and the money was easy. The musik on the way there was great. Bought a pipe (skullface) got some nice jewelry and blah blah blah…. But the highlight from the trip. Being an accused TERRORIST for 5 minutes.
We happened to be at the border of the USA and MEXICO and I happened the see the flags waving beautifully, so I step out from the car and walk about he flags, take my picture, get yelled at by a guard… so I get back in the car and when it is our turn to cross back to the USA, we get asked to pull aside. The manager asks me what I was doing and so on and on and on then took my state id and ran my record along with my dads, he was driving. But I was ready to get angry cuz there was no sign saying I could not take pics. But in the end he apologized and I said arrrrg, thanks. So yea, that was the highlight. Good stuff I must say… in the end I come home. Call AJ (tru) him and mike come over. Things with mike turn out okay. He said Jamaica was fun, he got me a gift. Well him and his brother. Well, it was about a week since I had smoked. We go out to steak and shake call Dave, blaze a bowl, hear radiohead and get our way at steak n shake, if it weren’t for Dave I wouldn’t be the ass I am now. Man I love that kid. Well, a couple weeks later I end breaking my cell phone, it’s currently still broken. HEHEHE.. I go back to work, give the boys their naked woman on shot glass gift dealy. Didn’t go to ozzfest. AUGUST ENDS. SEPTEMBER BEGINS. Hmmmm.. September. Work smoke work eat smoke movies smoke smoke movies work sleep sex booze rock n’ roll work money smoke sex booze sublime blunts bongs, AJ LEAVES TO NORTHEN, KELLY TURNS 20. I date Chris for a month. Chris is Matts younger brother. Matt is Kelly’s b/f. they all live together. Him and I didn’t work out, I felt as if he cared to much about material and being in love. It was just odd, plus he used to be a jock, hehe. Ah. But he was cool to his extent. He could be a pro BMX rider if he wanted to. And he drove a sweet 89 firebird with tee tops, *drools* but, yea. there was bad stuff that happened. like my ex love MARK put a gun to his head and now is blind and brain damaged, that makes me feel weird. like really weird. i didn't know how to handle it. i haven't tried to think about it as much. but last i heard he has no clue he did that. fuckin shit. well that ends that... SEPTEMBER ENDS OCTOBER BEGINS. Here we are in October, Halloween is coming up. But…. Chris wrote me a letter telling me how much he liked me and cared about me. But I just don’t see us working. Other than that. Mike got back into doing shitty drugs, now he wants to go to Arizona to clean up. I say do it. I dyed Mike and Pauls hair. People LOVE it. I’ve been taking my pictures for class. Met a gorgeous Guy, his name is Greg. And he has a nice ass. He showed me, in one of his pics, good stuff. But he is a photographer. As well. The neat part is that he actually gets paid for it.. Like this weekend he is goin on tour with yellowcard. Go him. But I could eat him up. **RAR** hmmmm… Aj the Mexican skater kid is a prick and I should stab him. Been partying, drinking some. Mostly smoking, a little clouded up right now. Got really neat misfit gloves, Joe got me a cool gift from CALIFORNIA. It’s a nice little stash thing, hmm….. man, Greg is a hotty. Nah, I don’t like that word for him. He’s “AWEE DAMN”. Okay stop Sonia. I have seen like every new movie that has came out in theater or dvd within the past 2 months. And here is the highlight of the year so far… I AM NOW AN OFFICIAL MUSCIAN, CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS. I TRIED OUT FOR A BAND CALLED 13 HOURS AND WELL I HAPPENED TO GET LIKED AND ACCEPTED SO I’M THE NEW VOCALIST. TOMORROW IS MY 2ND DAY THERE SINCE MY TRY OUT WAS MY FIRST. BOY THEY SCARE THE HELL OUTTA ME. I CAME IN AND STOOD THERE AND WATCHING THEM WARM UP WAS SCARY THEN THEY PLAYED. MY MOUTH DROPPED I WANTED TO RUN OUTTA THE ROOM BUT AT THE SAME TIME THE MIC SAID SONIA SCREAM INTO ME SCREAM, AND SO I DID. THE REACTION WAS GOOD. PSH, IF I WEREN’T IN THE BAND I’D STILL SAY THEY ARE AWESOME. BUT I LOVE IT I LOVE I LOVE IT. NOW I JUST GOTTA STICK TO IT AND MAKE IT HAPPEN. THIS IS MY CHANCE TO BECOME WHAT I WANNA BE. ME. I AM ME. BUT IT’S TIME TO GROW. WELL I HOPE THIS IS IT. CUZ I’M READY.

“HERE WE GO”
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Aug. 4th, 2004 @ 01:52 pm ONE MORE TIME
Current Mood: hungry
Current Music: SLAYER
I MEAN... ONE MORE DAY. YEP I LEAVE FOR MEXICO.. BRIGHT AND EARLY TOMORROW. FUCKKKKK. WHAT AM I GONNA DO ABOUT MY TATTOO? ANSWER ME DAMNINT. HMMM. WHO KNOWS. WELL LAST NIGHT WAS AWESOME!! KELLY CAME OVER, YAY!! HER, MY BROTHER AND I WENT TO GO SEE HAROLD AND KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE, PRETTY DAMN GOOD. AFTER THAT WE WATCHED ROMPER STOMPERS. NOW THAT'S A SWEET ASS MOVIE. UGHH SWEET ASS. HMMMM, SO I WORKED WITH MIKE. I TOLD MY PARENTS WHAT WAS GOIN ON AND THEY SAID FUCK HIM. AND I WAS LIKE YEA, FUCK HIM. AND I STARTED DANCING WAVING MY MIDDLE FINGER IN THE AIR SCREAMING FUCK HIM. IT WAS AWESOME. YEA WORKING WITH HIM WAS ALRIGHT. I GOT ON HIS NERVES. BUT THAT'S WHAT I DO BEST. PISS PEOPLLE OFF BY EXPRESSING MY OPINION, HOW QUEER IS THAT? HMMMMMM... WE BROUGHT HIS STEP MOTHER TO CLEAR UP OUR DISCUSSION AND SHE SAID, MIKE, WELL YOU ONLY THINK IN BLACK AND WHITE. SO THAT WAS TRUE.. UGHHH... THEN UGHHHH... MIKE'S BEST COME BACK IS..."YOUR STUPID" HIS STEP MOTHER (ALLIE) SAYS IT'S A FORM OF IMMATURITY. I AGREE. IT IS. FUNNY STUFF. WELL HE LEFT TO JAMAICA AND I WENT TO AJ'S HOUSE THIS MORNING WITH MY BROTHER AND RUSTY (DOGGIE), WE WENT FOR A NICE WALK. ONCE I GOT TO AJ'S I PICKED UP THE RUG AND GOT MY 100 DOLLARS. YAY. OKAY SO TODAY WILL CONSIST OF JUST PACKING AND WHAT NOT. REALLY THAT'S A LIE. MOST LIKELY I'LL DO EVERYTHING TOMORROW 20 MINTUTES BEFORE I LEAVE. TEE HEE HEE. AH. I DUNNO, I GUESS I AM GONN HAVE TO TAKE MY DIGITAL CAMERA SINCE I DIDN'T BUY ANOTHER ONE. MEH, I GOT MY PRO CAMERA TOO, AND AND A VIDEO CAMERA. I AM ALL STOCKED UP. AND READY TO PAAARRRTTTYYYY... BOY AM I HUNGRY. I FEEL LIKE GRILLED CHEESE. LIKE HAVING SOME, YUMMY YUMMY IN MY TUMMY. AH. WHAT IS WITH THAT AH? I DUNNO. IT IS SUUUUCH A B E A U TIFUL DAY OUTSIDE. I WISH IT WERE LIKE THIS EVERYDAY!!!! IT'S PERFECT... YOU KNOW WHAT'S PERFECT? NOTHING. BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING. MAN. I AM SOOO HUNGRY.. WHERE THE HELL IS DANNY (BROTHER)??? I THINK HE IS GETTIN DRESSED, I WANT SOME GRILLED CHEESE.... *COUGH COUGH COUGH* I AM CHOKING, YET I STILL MANAGE TO TYPE. WELL THAT WAS QUITE THE FRAGMENT OF A SENTANCE. HMMMMMM... UMMMM... BRENT DID CALL ME, HOW NICE. BUT I GUESS I SHOULD CALL HIM TODAY AND BE LIKE WHAT UP THUG... OH OH.. THE NIGHT BEFORE LAST NIGHT, DANNY AND I SAW MEAN GIRLS. IT WAS GRAND, MAN. WELL I DON'T THINK THIS THING WITH TONY IS GONNA WORK OUT. THAT SUCKS. I MEAN LIKED HIM. BUT I DON'T SEE ANY RESPONSE. LIKE I DO. BUT IT CONFUSES ME. I DUNNO. I THINK HE LIKES OTHER GIRLS. I HATE WHEN PEOPLE MESS WITH ME, YOU KNOW LEAD ME ON TO NOTHING GOOD, FUCKING SUCKS ASS! BUT YOU KNOW THAT COULD JUST BE ME, MAYBE TONY DOES LIKE ME AND MAYBE SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN. MAN I HATE WAITING TO SEE WHAT MY LOVE LIFE IS GONNA BE LIKE, IT'S ONE THE PARTS ABOUT LIFE THAT INTERESTS ME THE MOST. I MEAN, WHO AM I GONNA END UP WITH? AM I GONNA END UP WITH ANYONE, I MEAN I AM ONLY 20, BUT ANXIOUS TOO SEE WHAT THE LOVE KEY HOLDS FOR ME. IT INTERESTS ME SO MUCH BECAUSE I GET TO BOND WITH ANOTHER HUMAN IN A MORE INTIMATE WAY AND NOT EVEN THAT. IT'S PRETY COOL SHARING STUFF, YOU KNOW? BAH. WHY DO I EVEN WONDER. I'M DOOMED TO WANDER THE WORLD ALONE LIKE THE INCREDIBLE HULK... OH DAMN, HE HAD A LOVE LIFE. STUPID MOVIE RUINED IT. I NEVER SAW IT. BUT STUPID MOVIE RUINED IT. QUCICKLY SOMEONE STOP ME BEFORE I GO INSANE, QUICKLY SOMEONE STOP ME BEFORE I GO INSANE. I HAVE CAME UP WITH ANYMORE CHOICES ON LIFE. LIKE GOREY ONES. I GOTTA DO THAT. WELL PROB MOST OF MY TIME ON THE CAR TRIP, TO MEXICO, I AM GONNA SPEND WRITING. AH, I GOT ME A NICE PURSE YESTERDAY. IT'S NICE AND PERFECT. FOR ME. I CAN HOLD MY BOOKS AND CAMERA IN THERE. GGGRRRREEEAAATTT! OKAY. WELL I AM GONNA GO DO SOMETHING NON-PRODUCTIVE AND THEN EAT MY GRILLED CHEESE.

MY REFLECTION ATE MY SOUL.. MIRROR MIRROR, OPEN WIDE.

INCORRECT SONIA
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Aug. 2nd, 2004 @ 02:05 pm CAN IT GET ANYMORE?
Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: CHIMAIRA
CONFUSING, HARD, COMPLICATED. DON'T THEY ALL MEAN THE SAME DAMN THING ANYWAY? AH. SO LAST NIGHT I WENT TO THAT KEGGER, I GOT THERE DID A KEG STAND, BWUAHAHA. I TOOK MR. JON HAMMOND ON A CHALLENGE. HE'S A MAD MAN. A MAD DRUNK HYSTIRCALL MAN.
IT WAS A GOOD TIMES. UGHHHH. MIKE CALLED ME AND SAID WE SHOULD CLEAR THINGS UP. I SAID ALRIGHTY. MIKE PICKED ME UP FROM WORK AND HE ASKS. "SONIA, WHY ARE YOU SO QUIET?" I REPLIED "I'M AFRAID IF I STATE MY OPINION YOU WILL GET PISSED OFF" BRETT STARTED LAUGHING SO HARD. AWE MAN, IT'S TRUE THOUGH. WHEN I GOT THE KEGGER AJ WAS ALL GOOD AND TRASHED. HE SAID HE MADE MIKE FEEL BAD, WHICH IS GOOD. SO THEN HE SAID MIKE IS GONNA TALK TO ME. UGHHH? WHERE IS THE TALKING? IS IT SILENT? I DUNNO. HMMMMM, SO I GET TO THE KEGGER AND THIS GUY BRENT IT TOTALLY CHECKING ME OUT. HIM AND I ENDED UP TALKIN TILL 4AM ON THE FRONT STAIRS. IT WAS HAWT. IT REALLY WAS. HMMM HE LIKES CARS AND BIG TRUCKS. UGHHHH, I RODE IN DODGE DAKOTA. MY MY, HOW HE TURNS ME ON. HEHE. REALLY ANY GUY WHO CAN WORK ON CARS TURNS ME ON. LA LA LA. HMM HE'S HAWT STUFF TOO. LET'S SEE IF HE CALLS ME. IF HE DON'T, OH WELL. RIGHTEOUS. WELL TODAY MY MOTHER AND I WENT TO GET PEDICURES AND MANICURES, OH BABY, I'M ALL NICE LOOKIN, TEE HEE HEE. I LEAVE FOR MEXICO IN, UGHHH.. LET ME COUNT.. HMMMM TODAY IS MONDAY, TOMORROW IS TUESDAY AND THEN THERE IS WEDNESDAY AND I LEAVE THURSDAY, SO THAT'S UGHH. YOU DO THE MATH. YEA I CAN'T WAIT. I NEED TO BUY MORE FILM. SO MANY PICS I AM GONNA TAKE. MAN IT'S GONNA BE SO HAWT OVER THURR. AND I HAVE TO WEAR LONG SLEEVE, PARENTS STILL DON'T KNOW ABOUT THE KILLER TATTOO ON MY ARM, EEP!!!! WHAT TO DO? WHAT TO DO? WELL TODAY I HAVE WORK, AND UGHHHH.. DAVE, JON, AND BRETT OWE ME DINERO.. THAT'S 100 DOLLARS. SO HOPEFULLY GET THAT BACK. HMMM. YEA. CANDY BARS! I WONDER WHAT TODAY IS GONNA BE LIKE? I WONDER. SHOULD I WONDER? I DUNNO.. I WONDER IF I GOT BAND PRACTICE TOMORROW. I DUNNO. I DUNNO A LOTTA THINGS. OH OH OH. I STARTED WRITTING A NEW BOOK/MOVIE. IT'S GONNA BE B E A U TIFUL
...................... BRETT ATE TWO CHOCOLATES YESTERDAY, TEE HEE HEE, IT LOOKED LIKE HE WAS HAVIN A BLAST. I'M SUPPOSED TO GO ON A ROMANTIC (AH, SO DREAMY) DATE WITH TONY, OH BABY. HMMMM. I WANNA HANG WITH DAVEY AND I MUST SEE KELLY TOMORROW AND AJ AND MIKE. WELL THEY ARE GONNA EAT THEIR CHOCOLATES TODAY. SO I DUNNO. I'LL CALL THEM WHEN I GET OFF WORK. SEE WHAT THERE DEAL IS. IF ANYTHANG, I'LL SIT AROUND, I CAN DO SOME OF THAT.
WELL THE DAY AWAITS AND I REALLY DON'T FEEL LIKE MAKING IT WAIT ANYMORE, HERE I GOOOOOOO!

FUNKY SONIA
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Aug. 1st, 2004 @ 12:02 pm OOkay
Current Mood: hot
Current Music: THROUGH THE EYES OF THE DEAD
sooooo, last night went to the city with joe, mike pants and eric. it was hawt. haha. nah we got some mushroom candy bars, ughhhhhh! i bought 4, not for me though. good stuff. hmmmm. we had some good sex conversations. oh and kevin and buckets apt i found a bear who was sittin there on a bench all alone. so i went up to him cuz he had a note. and it said FREE AmInALS!! so i took him. joe said the bear prob has sacrificed souls in him. so i named him DEATH. then kicked him. joe threatened to call aminal curlety on me. BAH! afterwords we went to aj's (the mexican kid) house and ther was chris and fat mike. good times. chilled with them until hinch and davey arrived. then they took me home. hmmm. well today is sunday, i know i have to work. and i am gonna go to a kegger.. i'm more about HIGHLAND, they will be playing. ughhhhhh, HIGHLAND. good stuff. J.B. will prob pick me up. i dunno MIKE called me today and left a voice mail, it was all mumbbling, so all i caught was, at work for a while, call you later. WERD. i dunnno. family is over right now. well i think i am gonna go get ready for what awaits. WHICH IS?
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Jul. 31st, 2004 @ 02:07 pm FUCT up
Current Mood: uncomfortable
Current Music: SUBLIME
HOW IS IT SO?
YOU WONDER.
I'LL TELL YOU.
I CAN TELL YOU.
I'M HAVING THESE MAJOR PROBLEMS
I THINK I AM GOING INTO A STATE OF DEPRESSION
OH GOD. I WANNA CRY JUST TYPING THIS. I HAVE NOT
EVEN SAID WHAT THE PROBLEM IS. I HATE PROBLEMS. FUCK YOU PROBLEMS I HATE YOU! I HATE HATE. MAN I DON'T EVEN BELIEVE IN HATE! I'LL TELL YOU WHAT THE PROBLEM IS. PEOPLE. YEP. PEOPLE.
SAD, HUH? SEE, I HAVE THESE TWO VERY GOOD FRIENDS, AJ & MIKE. MIKE HAS ALL A SUDDEN DECIDED TO NOT LIKE ME ANYMORE. AJ DOESN'T UNDERSTAND. SEE. MIKE HAS THIS ANGER PROBLEM, IF YOU TELL HIM ONE THING HE GET'S PISSED OFF. HE'S KINDA LIKE A 2 YEAR OLD IN AN 18 YEAR OLDS BODY. SEE, AJ & I ARE TRYING TO TALK TO MIKE, BEACAUSE WE CARE ABOUT HIM. AND APPARENTLY MY TALKING MADE HIM ANGRY AND HATEFUL. BUT AT THE SAME TIME AJ HAS SAID THE SAME THINGS I HAVE SAID TO MIKE. SO THAT DON'T MAKE ANY SENSE. OVERALL MIKE IS JUST contriDICKting HIMSELF. SALDY HE DOES THIS ON A LOT THINGS. I THINK THE DRUGS HAVE FUCT up HIS BRAIN. HE HAS GOT TO STOP DOING DRUGS. AND IT'S STUFF LIKE THAT, THAT WE TELL HIM, IT'S STUFF LIKE, THINK BEFORE YOU TALK. IT'S STUFF TRUE FRIEND SAY TO TRUE FRIENDS. IT'S STUFF YOU SAY WHEN YOU CARE. I'M GLAD I HAVE A FRIEND LIKE AJ. YOU KNOW? WELL, IT'S CUZ HE UNDERSTANDS MY PERCEPTION OF LIFE, MY FEELINGS. HE UNDERSTANDS WHAT GOOD FRIENDS ARE AND RESPECT. HE UNDERSTANDS MIKE IS A DUMBASS AND NEEDS TO OPEN UP. AJ AND I TALK EVERY MORNING FOR AT LEAST AN HOUR AND YOU KNOW I USUALLY HANG WITH HIM AFTER WORK. HE'S A REALLY GOOD FRIEND TO ME AND MIKE. AJ IS GONNA HAVE A TALK WITH MIKE TODAY, SEE WHAT THE FUCK THE IS PROBLEM IS. HE WANTS TO TELL HIM TO SEEK THEARPY. THAT'S HARD. I HOPE ALL GOES WELL. MAN, ABOUT 2 WEEKS AGO MIKE WENT TO ARIZONA AND RIGHT WHEN HE CAME BACK, WELL HE CAME BACK ANGRY. I FIGURE IT'S CUZ HE ONLY SMOKED ONE BOWL THE WHOLE TIME. I MEAN HE DOES RELY ON WEED TOO MUCH, THAT'S REALLY BAD. WEED ISN'T A BAD THING, IT'S JUST BAD TO ABUSE IT. SO AJ AND I FIGURED THERE IS A MAJOR CHEMICAL IMBALANCE, MIKE IS BECOMING BI POLAR ON US. OH NO. OH NO. OH NO. OH NO. OH NO. OH NO. HMMM. I'M SAD. AJ LEAVES FOR NORTHERN ON THE 19TH. MIKE LEAVES FOR JAMAICA ON THE 4TH I LEAVE FOR MEXICO ON THE 5TH. I RETURN WHEN AJ LEAVES. AND AS FOR MIKE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS GONNA HAPPEN THERE. I MEAN, IT'S SO HARD TO EXPLAIN THE SITUATION, TRUST ME THERE IS A SITUATION, IT'S NOT THAT I AM MAKING IT. MIKE MADE IT. AJ UNDERSTANDS, HE SAW IT ALL UNFOLD. BUT HE TOO DON'T UNDERSTAND MIKE. THAT IS WHY TODAY WILL HOPEFULLY RESOLVE THINGS. GOD THIS IS SO HARD. MAN, WHY MUST PEOPLE BE SO COMPLICATED? YOU KNOW, I HATE ARGUING AND FIGHTS. I'M SO PEACEFUL, I SWEAR. I HAVE THIS NEW OUT LOOK ON LIFE. I MEAN FOR CHRIST SAKE, WE DISCUSSED LIFE AND I CRIED. LIFE IS SO BEAUTIFUL TO ME, WHY MUST PEOPLE BE SO COMPLICATED. WHY MUST MIKE BE SO STUPID? WHY? I DON'T EVEN WANNA SAY I LOVE THE KID. CUZ I CAN'T LOVE SOMEONE WHO HAS NO RESPECT FOR ME. THAT'S SHITTY. I HAVE A LOTTA RESPECT FOR HIM AND AJ. AND MIKE IS JUST NOT MUTUAL TO US. IT'S SAD. I HAVE A LOTTA RESPECT TOWARDS ANYONE ON THIS LIVING PLANET. I MEAN UNLESS YOU HAVE TALKED MAD SHIT ABOUT ME OR MY FRIENDS THEN FUCK YOU, YOU'RE NOT WORTH MY TIME. MY TIME IS MY TIME AND I AM GOING TO DO ALL THAT I CAN TO KEEP IT AS MY TIME AND I AM GONNA LIVE MY TIME TO FULLEST. I REALLY WISH FOR THINGS TO GET BETTER.

HOW'S THIS FOR MY FIRST JOURNAL ENTRY?

-SO SAD SONIA
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